English is Stupid

[حنـــــان]

This is quite old, but I think its funny

-----

Lets face it, English is a stupid language
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
And French fries were not invented in France

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught
Why didn't the preacher praught

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out, they are visible
But when the lights are out, they are invisible
And it's why when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends

[ابن البلد]

:d
Quicksand takes you down slowly
http://www.unmuseum.org/quicktrapped.jpg

:d
Boxing rings are square

[أنفـــــال]

That Wonderful Topic Has been Read By Me ..
:)
Thank you Hanan, U've just given me a chance to smile

[حنـــــان]

Ahmed... you know... I think I might look up information about quicksand and write a post about it soon
I feel bad for the woman in the picture you attached... there is no way out of that situation
Thanks for stopping by

Anfal... anytime :) glad this made you smile

[بسمة أمل]

How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple

http://www.egyptsons.com/misr/images/smilies/080402cool_prv.gifhttp://www.egyptsons.com/misr/images/smilies/080402cool_prv.gif
http://www.egyptsons.com/misr/images/smilies/080402cool_prv.gif



Thanks Hanan ..... A very nice topic.....

[حنـــــان]

Hello Basma
:h: Glad you like the poem, and thanks for stopping by

[يسرا]

i'm gonna share with this
but give me the chance 2 understand first

[حنـــــان]

Hello Yosra
Take your time
Hope you like it

[أحمد ناصر]

أهلا يا حنان
موضوع طريف
ومعك حق فى مسألة غباء الإنجليزية
ويحضرنى مثال آخر
فلا يمكننا أن نجد ذبابةFLY
أو زبدBUTTER
فى الفراشةBUTTERFLY
تحضرنى نكتة قديمة جدا وبايخة عن محمدين عندما وقع فى الحفرة ولم يستطيع الخروج
فهرع حسنين لنجدته
لكنه بذكائه المعهود نسى الحبل قبل أن يقفز فى الحفرة
ومر بهما أجنبى
فناداه محمدين بلهفة:يا خواجة إرمى الحبل
لكن الخواجة أيضا كان لا يقل عنهما ذكاء
وهنا تدخل حسنين بعبقريته المفرطة وقال له:
يا خواجة..?Do you speak Englis
رد الخواجة:Yes
فقال له حسنين:طب إرمى الحبل

[حنـــــان]

أحمد ناصر يتجول في المنتدى ويزور موضوع لي... المكان نور والله. فكرتني بأيام زمان لما جيت المنتدى أول مرة... الأعضاء النشطيين دلوقتي غير بتوع زمان. وزمان ولو انه مش زمان قوي انما كان حلو.
الانجليزية... طول عمري بحس انها ناقصها حاجة. مش كاملة. بس في نفس الوقت عملية. كل حاجة ليها اسم وفي مكانها في الانجليزي. و to the point. مافيهاش لف ودوران... في حين ان ساعات في العربي ماكانتش بألاقي الحكاية دي. فضلت فترة عبال ما اكتشفت ان المشكلة مش في العربي. انما العامية العربية. الفصحى بحر واسع مالوش آخر... ومش ناقصه حاجة كاملة من مجاميعه.

شكرا يا أحمد على تواجدك هنا.

[khalid radio]

hahahahahaha

very very nice topic Hanan I really like it so much

I work as a transelator now adays and I deal with english every day as a result

But till now I can't feel it
I think english is very usefull for business treatments and quick life style not for emotional feelings and or neither friendship relationships and so on

Thank you for your funny topic

Yours faithfully

[حنـــــان]

...Hello khalid
.I think its just a matter of growing up with a language, and growing used to it, so that you don't just talk it, you feel it. English can be felt no question about it, but ofcourse Arabic for us will always be the one language that we could truely connect to and understand with our hearts before our minds

.Thank you for stopping by and wishing you all the luck with your job

[ريـم]

I think the Irish people here would burst out laughing reading this ! (even though burst out should mean they'll explode and die) .. Anyway, I wonder if we would have such things in Arabic too! .. Thank you for making me smile

[حنـــــان]

.Hello Reem
.It would be interesting to see if there are similar contradictions in the Arabic langauge
.We'd need an Arabic language expert though! I'm not gonna be of any use in that area
.Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad this made you smile

[Sanzio]

Thank you Hanan,this is the first time I note these things .
It is very nice
Thank u 1nc again

[حنـــــان]

Hello kalematek alhani
Glad you enjoyed this read
and thanks for stopping by

[شعاع من نور]

peace b upon u Hanan

know what???i have n't think that way at all
:d :d actually i'm kind of surprised...that's just the truth!!!!!!!

really lovely and nice topic hanan:209: ....

thanx a lot...

[حنـــــان]

.Hello sho'aa
.Yes it's a very funny poem
.And so true
Glad you enjoyed it
.and thanks for stopping by

[Masrawya]

Hanan
It's really wonderful and very funny poem.
Although it's shocking for me noting such contradictions and I think it's hard to find on our language, as we don't have such combined words, yet we still need an Arabic language expert .
And still English is easier to be used all around the world without noting these things.
Thanks for you nice topic

[حنـــــان]

.Hello Masrawya
You know I'm almost sure I thought of a contradition or 2 in the Arabic language a few days back... but I can't recall it at all now. If I do I will be sure and tell you about it
.Thanks for stopping by

[Amebaid]

hey there i really liked it thanks for it ,, me too as most of the world thinks that english is the worst lang ever .. but what to do it's world domination my own opinion .. even swahili is better that english

i wanted to add some more so.. check this out


We must polish the Polish furniture.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
They were too close to the door to close it.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes, I shed a tear
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

[حنـــــان]

Amebaid... these are all very funny too
Thanks for the addition
Glad you enjoyed the poem and welcome to our community here at egytptsons

[Amebaid]

thanks i really like it here too but can i ask you a favor ..

can you tell the admin about this post here
http://www.egyptsons.com/misr/showthread.php?p=847430#post847430

these ads is really killing me can't take it anymore

[حنـــــان]

Will do

[Amebaid]

thanks .. hope there is solution for this coz this is just like مسمار جحا

[NAYROUZ]

thanks Hanan for ur nice and funny topic
i really like it

[حنـــــان]

Nayrouz
Glad you found this entertaining
thanks for stopping by

[صبري النجار]

Hanan
Thanks a lot for the interesting poem which depicts some paradoxex in the language.

Do you usually read poetry, prose and plays?

All the best

Sabry An-Naggar

[حنـــــان]

.Hello Mr. Sabry

!Actually I'm not much into reading poetry or plays... unless I have to
.Back in high school I read "The Glass Menagerie" and "Travels with my Aunt" as part of my English Literature class, as well as some poems by Alfred Lord Tennyson, the most memorable of which was "The Lady of Sharlott". The only poem I sought to read on my own was "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe

.Thank you for stopping by. I'm glad you enjoyed the read

[محمد نديم]

Thank you Hanan
The topic is wonderful.It is realy a good chanace to laugh and think
I believe Arabic has its own funny bits too , especially in common nouns as well as the names of some geographical landmarks

Thanx a lot
Nadeem..

[حنـــــان]

Dear Mr. Nadeem
I'd love to know some of the arabic funny bits you mentioned. It would be very interesting to read about them
Thank you for stopping by, glad you enjoyed this

[محمد نديم]

Dear Mr. Nadeem

I'd love to know some of the arabic funny bits you mentioned. It would be very interesting to read about them

Thank you for stopping by, glad you enjoyed this



Dear Miss
Hanan

You can find some funny bits about Arabic language in this link here. I hope
they will capture your attention.
Nadeem
http://www.egyptsons.com/misr/showthread.php?p=917996#post917996.

[حنـــــان]

Thank you very much. I'm on my way there

[Awseemi A9eel]

This is ways so funny, I believe English has more n' more of these contradictions. May I add some of those I barely remember... like ummm :

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Thanks sister for the nice poem
Regards.
Mohamed Abdou

[حنـــــان]

Thanks for these interesting additions Awseemi
And I'm really glad you enjoyed the poem
Welcome to our forum! Hope you have a good time here